Wednesday Read: Complaining vs. Lament

The Israelites complained constantly in the wilderness: no water, boring food, scary enemies, difficult journey. Their complaints revealed hearts that doubted God's goodness, questioned his provision, and romanticized their slavery in Egypt. Numbers 11:1 records God's response: "The people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled." Their complaining was actually rebellion wrapped in grievance.

But the Psalms are filled with complaints - raw, honest, sometimes shocking expressions of pain, confusion, and disappointment with God. Psalm 88 ends in darkness with no resolution. Psalm 13 asks "How long, O Lord?" four times in six verses. Psalm 22 opens with Jesus's words from the cross: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" These aren't punished; they're preserved as Scripture. So what's the difference between complaining and lament?

Complaining focuses on circumstances and demands change. Lament focuses on God and invites relationship. Complaining says, "This is unacceptable; fix it now." Lament says, "This is unbearable; help me trust you anyway." Complaining breeds bitterness and entitlement. Lament produces intimacy and transformation. Complaining pushes away from God in anger. Lament moves toward God in pain.

Job's story illustrates this distinction perfectly. His friends told him to stop questioning God, to accept his suffering silently, to confess sins he hadn't committed. But God vindicated Job: "You have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has" (Job 42:7). Job's brutal honesty about his suffering, his raw questions about God's justice, his refusal to pretend everything was okay - this was more pleasing to God than his friends' theological platitudes.

Paul demonstrated this difference when he pleaded three times for God to remove his thorn in the flesh (2 Corinthians 12:8). He didn't complain bitterly that God was being unfair or cruel. He asked honestly for relief, and when God said "no," Paul accepted the answer and found meaning in his suffering: "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

The Psalms teach us how to lament: pour out your heart honestly to God, recall his past faithfulness, voice your trust despite your circumstances, and wait for his response. You don't have to pretend you're okay when you're not. You don't have to fake spiritual maturity by stuffing your pain. God can handle your honesty - he just wants your heart turned toward him, not away from him.

What are you complaining about versus lamenting about? Are you demanding God fix your circumstances, or are you inviting him into your pain? There's a world of difference between grumbling that God isn't good and crying out that you need him to be good to you now. One pushes him away; the other pulls him close. Lament is the language of relationship under strain. God honors it.