Wednesday Read: When People Disappoint You
People will disappoint you. Not might disappoint you, not occasionally disappoint you - will disappoint you. Guaranteed. Friends will fail to show up when you need them. Family will let you down. Mentors will prove fallible. Leaders will fall. Even the most faithful people in your life will sometimes fail to be who you need them to be. This isn't pessimism; it's realism about human limitation.
David experienced this acutely. His closest friend, Jonathan, died young. His mentor, King Saul, tried to kill him repeatedly. His son Absalom led a rebellion against him. His general, Joab, defied his orders. His advisor, Ahithophel, betrayed him for Absalom. David's life was littered with disappointments from people he trusted. Yet he wrote: "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God" (Psalm 20:7).
The problem isn't that people fail us - it's that we expect them not to. We place expectations on others that only God can fulfill, then feel betrayed when they don't meet those impossible standards. We want friends to always understand us, family to never hurt us, leaders to never disappoint us, mentors to have all answers. These are divine attributes we're demanding from humans who are just as broken as we are.
Jesus understood human unreliability perfectly. "He did not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person" (John 2:24-25). He loved people deeply while maintaining realistic expectations about their capacity for failure. He wasn't surprised when disciples fell asleep in Gethsemane, when Peter denied him, when everyone abandoned him at the cross. He loved them anyway, knowing they would fail.
This doesn't mean accepting abuse or staying in toxic relationships. Boundaries are healthy. Recognizing patterns of harm and protecting yourself is wise. But there's a difference between necessary boundaries and bitter disappointment. One protects you while hoping for others' growth; the other hardens your heart and expects only failure.
Paul captured this balance: "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). Bearing with others assumes they'll need bearing with. Forgiving assumes there'll be things to forgive. Giving grace assumes people will need it. This isn't lowering standards; it's recognizing that everyone - including you - falls short and needs mercy.
Who has disappointed you recently? Are you holding them to standards you don't meet yourself? Are you demanding they be perfect when you're not? Are you expecting them to fulfill needs that only God can meet? Release them from impossible expectations. They're human, just like you. Broken, limited, inconsistent - just like you. They need the same grace you desperately need yourself.
